Source: Berkeley Haas
by Morgan Bernstein,
February 11, 2016
Many students start—or end—their program with a partner or a family, and that’s why Berkeley-Haas makes every effort to create a stimulating and inviting environment not only for students, but also for their support systems, offering open panels for partners to ask questions, campus events that welcome family members, and weekend trips that invite spouses and partners to join the fun.
We sat down with six Berkeley MBA students and their partners discuss what the business school experience has been like for them.
Couple #1: Evening and Weekend MBA Student Matthew Wong and Jaclyn Wong
Matthew and Jaclyn met in the dorms freshman year of college. One golden retriever, one daughter, and some years later, the couple found themselves at Berkeley-Haas when Matthew decided to pursue the EWMBA program, while maintaining his position at Cisco. Jaclyn works full-time at a financial planning firm in San Francisco, so their busy schedules keep them going between home, two cities, and school.
What do you enjoy about being a couple at Berkeley-Haas?
Matthew: I think the first thing is that everyone in the program understands it’s not just you going through the program. Even those who are single know there’s someone else supporting you and so they engage that spouse or partner as part of the family. Everyone makes an effort to meet and know your significant other.
Jaclyn: I’ve met a lot of other students in the program and they’re all friendly and open. I also enjoy the welcome panels for admitted students that help couples get a glimpse into what it will be like when your significant other is in class or doing homework, and how life changes. The panel sets a realistic expectation, but also shows that this is the kind of program and culture where couples are supported and included.
Why did you decide Berkeley-Haas was the right fit—for both of you?
Matthew: A coworker encouraged me to apply and put me in touch with students who were single, just married, and married and about to have kids. Meeting people is what made me apply to Haas—it convinced me that this was the right fit, and I knew it was also going to be the caliber of the program I was looking for.
Jaclyn: I feel Haas was a good fit not just for Matt, but also for our family. It’s a plus that it’s in the Bay Area, so we did not have to relocate, and Matt’s classmates are great people.
What’s hard about juggling a relationship and an MBA program?
Matthew: Making the time for your partner. I make time for Jaclyn between my little girls, serving as EWMBA Student Association President, volunteering for a non-profit, and a full-time job. It’s several part-time jobs on top of two full-time jobs, but If I can do it, you can too! The first six months is the hardest because you are adjusting to class, homework, networking events, and social activities, which are an essential part of meeting people and bonding with your classmates.
Jaclyn: In our situation we had been married a couple years and I gave birth to our daughter a month before he started school. So we had a newborn and he started, and there were a lot of changes all at once. And, you just have less time together.
What advice would you give to a couple with one partner considering an MBA program?
Matthew: Make time for each other during the days when there is that time. Make the effort for your partner. It’s a two-way street, and it’s not just about the student.
Jaclyn: Communication builds a strong relationship, and using tools like a shared Google calendar makes that much easier. What might have been discussed in person [before business school] is now a chain of emails, but it keeps the two of you on the same page.
Couple #2: Full-time MBA student Kate Cote and David Cote
Kate Cote of the Full-time Berkeley MBA Program, married her husband David Cote seven years after they met on a blind date. Coming from a career in healthcare consulting, Kate pursued the dual MPH/MBA while David worked full time at a startup called Augmedix. Amid full-time jobs and dual degrees, David and Kate got married between Kate’s first and second year in the program, throwing wedding planning into the mix.
What do you enjoy about being a couple at Berkeley-Haas?
Kate: Everyone genuinely cares about getting to know not only their classmates but also their partners. Partners and families are very much part of the community.
David: It wasn’t just Kate who benefited from the program; the knowledge and network that she built was enjoyable for me, as well. I learned a lot from [her] classmates’ unique experiences.
Why did you decide Berkeley-Haas was the right fit for both of you?
Kate: We both came to Days at Haas and participated in activities and panels that gave us a sense of the school. From the beginning, Haas felt like a place where I could be myself. I fell in love with the people and the culture because it was such a collaborative and supportive environment.
David: There was a common culture in the Haas community that was really inviting and appealing. Haas really tries to include partners, and there was always outreach and invites to join events.
What’s hard about juggling a relationship and an MBA program?
Kate: Doing it all. There’s always something going on.
David: The impact on a couple’s relationship is that you’re sort of living in two different worlds, and it can be hard when your schedules aren’t in sync.
What advice would you give to a couple with one partner considering an MBA program?
Kate: Both of you should attend the new admit welcome events if you can. We made friends that weekend that are still great friends of ours today.
David: We relocated from San Francisco to be closer to Berkeley for Kate’s first year. People told us that not having a commute would make it easier to see each other and go to events together. They were right—being close to campus was definitely helpful that first year, and it was worth it even though we ended up moving back to San Francisco for year two.
Couple #3: MBA for Executives student Kriya Chantalat and Nina Washington
Berkeley EMBA student Kriya Chantalat and wife Nina Washington’s story started on the dance floor—and the rest is history. Nina, the director of a preschool, encouraged Kriya, the CFO at a real estate development firm, to pursue her goal of getting an MBA. The two found that Berkeley-Haas was the program with right caliber and culture.
What do/did you enjoy about being a couple at Berkeley-Haas?
Kriya: In addition to campus events, there are always informal get-togethers to spend time with one another, and also with other students. For example, during Fleet Week, one of the classmates had a party on his rooftop to watch the Blue Angels perform. We also gather for casual brunches, and spouses and partners are always welcome.
Nina: The partner panel was very nice to help new students and spouses understand the program. The Facebook group and the class outings to which partners are invited keep us connected and in the loop. I especially enjoyed the Napa Valley immersion week, because the partners of the students all had dinner, a spa day, and brunch together. I really enjoyed meeting other partners.
Why did you decide Berkeley-Haas was the right fit for both of you?
Kriya: I loved what Berkeley-Haas stands for. While evaluating schools, Haas’ four Defining Principles resonated with me. The students that I met during the admissions process also embodied these principles. Now that I’m in the program, I can attest to these character traits shining through in the class.
Nina: It was Kriya’s first choice, and it’s close to home so we were able to stay in the Bay Area.
What’s hard about juggling a relationship and an MBA program?
Kriya: The biggest challenge was at the beginning, just getting into the groove of things and making sure there was work-life balance.
What advice would you give to a couple with one partner considering an MBA program?
Nina: Be very supportive of your partner. Encourage them and be a listening ear.
Kriya: It can get stressful at times, so just being a support system for each other is important because each of you will need it at different times.
Couple #4: Berkeley Executive MBA student Sally Allain and Richard Allain
Sally and Richard Allain met in San Diego (and, as one might expect in sunny Southern California—in a beach bar). Sally joined the Berkeley MBA for Executives Program, and she and Richard work together to pursue two full-time careers—Richard is an Officer of U.S. Marines and an F/A-18 Aviator; Sally is the Director of External Alliances, Immunology, Janssen Research & Development—as well as raise two children.
What do you enjoy about being a couple at Berkeley-Haas?
Sally: My fellow classmates really do embody the Haas Defining Principles; they are some of the most genuine, friendly, giving individuals, and this resonates strongly when we’ve had opportunities to include our spouses. There have been numerous occasions when our partners have been invited to attend evening or weekend events, whether at Berkeley or during our immersion weeks. These events have been a great opportunity for our partners to meet and connect, and made our class cohort experience even more personal.
Richard: I have been welcomed to several social events sponsored by Haas. They have proven great experiences providing the opportunity to talk informally with the eclectic group that is Sally’s cohort. Each has been memorable in a different way.
Why did you decide Berkeley-Haas was the right fit—for both of you?
Richard: Sally had been considering an EMBA Program for years, but we had to find the right time to balance both of our professional lives, as well as our two children.
Sally: Haas’ EMBA schedule of in-residence at campus every three weeks was a big draw for me, enabling the balance of school, family, and my added work travel commitments. In-residence also allows me to be fully committed to class while also connecting and networking with my classmates.
What’s hard about juggling a relationship and an MBA program?
Sally: Balancing it all—a career, my relationship with Richard, two young children, and the EMBA Program. It’s a great exercise in juggling priorities for me, but I also have to remind myself that the EMBA Program is a short time period for me to be slightly selfish for my career growth.
Richard: With high expectations comes exceptional commitment. We are both pursuing graduate degrees currently and have two very active children. Maintaining a sustainable balance among these priorities and finding time for one another has proven challenging at times, but we continue to work through it while recognizing how this is a unique time.
What advice would you give to a couple with one partner considering an MBA program?
Sally: It’s a continual give and take on both of our personal and professional time. You both have to be committed to this time for the person in the program to succeed, which also translates to my husband spending a lot more of his time on household and children responsibilities than I can. It’s a period where I have had to put time I would have spent with friends ‘on-hold.’ You just can’t do it all.
Richard: Begin with an honest discussion of the commitment required to fully realize the opportunity offered by Haas. There will be trades. Making sure you give your supporting spouse their own time ‘off’ is also really important.
Couple #5: Full-time MBA student Peter Shearer and Lauren Civeillo
Lauren Civiello, a speech therapist, and Peter Shearer, who will finish the Full-time Berkeley MBA Program this spring, met in D.C. Peter was stationed in the Navy and was looking for a change in career path, which led him to Haas. Upon acceptance to the program, the two road-tripped across the country to begin their next chapter: As a Berkeley-Haas couple.
What do you enjoy about being a couple at Berkeley-Haas?
Peter: The small class size allowed me to get to know a lot of different people and not just the ones in my cohort. There’s an open environment toward partners, and a large percentage of people who came to Haas with a partner, so classmates respect and welcome that. Partners can travel with the group and come to lots of events.
Lauren: The first couple of weeks were very involved and everyone is a part of everything. There was always someone to hang out with or something to do; there’s never a dull moment. The social aspect of Haas was very enticing and that was part of the program’s culture from the start.
Why did you decide Berkeley-Haas was the right fit—for both of you?
Peter: When I came out to visit Haas, I knew we’d be happy here and that it would be a good fit for both. When I came to Days at Haas, the person I interviewed with had a partner at Haas, as well, and we had a candid conversation about it. I loved the people I met and it was just a gut feeling.
Lauren: The environment we’d be in was important to us, and we love this part of the country. In terms of Haas itself, we were coming from a Navy community, where they really foster relationships, and I got the sense that Haas would be similar in welcoming spouses and kids. I had conversations with other partners before we even got out here!
What’s hard about juggling a relationship and an MBA program?
Peter: Business school is a huge life change, and for a partner it might be doubly difficult. We made a move across a country to a new apartment, went to just one income, had different schedules, where as before we were both 9-5. It’s a big change in lifestyle.
Lauren: There were so many academic and social events at first. It’s a lot all at once, and for working partners, you find yourself on a different schedule than [the student]. But it gets so much easier after first semester.
What advice would you give to a couple with one partner considering an MBA program?
Peter: Going into the program, discuss what both of your expectations are. I’d encourage people to take advantage of as many opportunities as possible and to include your partner. Experience as much as you can.
Lauren: Although it can be a lot, take advantage of treks, weekends, and events. I’ve made lifelong friendships through Peter being in this program. Also, make time alone with your partner, even if it’s as simple as morning coffee together.
Couple #6: Berkeley MBA for Executives student Alphonsus (Alf) Cheng and Emma Cheng
Recent Berkeley MBA for Executives grad Alphonsus (“Alf”) and wife Emma originally met as teenagers, but they didn’t date until meeting again as adults. Nineteen years and three kids later, Alf is the Director of Pharmacological Sciences Operations at BioMarin Pharmaceutical, and Emma is a Principal Human Resources Business Partner at Informatica. While Alf pursued his Berkeley EMBA, the couple balanced two full-time careers, along with a full house.
What do you enjoy about being a couple at Berkeley-Haas?
Alf: That the Haas community extended far beyond the classroom to significant others, spouses, children, and parents. We knew we’d made the right choice when we found ourselves in this new extended community of diverse individuals (diverse in any way you can describe us) who were at the same time incredibly like-minded in how welcoming they were of our existing communities.
Emma: The “Spouse Panel” during the orientation had helped set the stage for what to expect from the spouse’s perspective. It helped me understand that I, too, had a role in this program, not as the student—but more importantly, as the student’s support system. I was mentally prepared to support Alf in any way I could so he could dedicate the necessary time and energy to the program.
Why did you decide Berkeley-Haas was the right fit—for both of you?
Alf: I knew that if I were to spend the time and money to get an MBA, it had to be from a renowned program and it had to be local, so that helped narrow my choices. When it came down to the details, several things were key to our decision to choose Haas: the block schedule, the program’s duration and most importantly, the defining principles.
Emma and I have talked a lot about the impact of corporate and organizational cultures on success. We’ve also shared with each other our admiration of certain leaders in our professional past and present and talked about the things that made them such great leaders in our eyes. As parents, we also make every effort to instill core values in our children that are also important to us. When I first laid eyes on the Haas Defining Principles, I was almost beside myself….they very precisely describe the characteristics we most admire in our leaders and those we hope to impress upon our three crazy children.
What’s hard about juggling a relationship and an MBA program?
Alf: Keeping things balanced was great in principle, but did not always happen in execution. Difficult choices were made on a daily basis on where to spend what precious little time I had; school, career, relationships or Alf time. As you’d expect, my own time was the first to go, but the balance between the remaining three was a very dynamic exercise and really forced me to consider the bigger picture. You have to prioritize your relationships, figure out how to best nurture them and then do it efficiently. You have to put things in to perspective about when it’s important to spend that extra hour prepping that case versus spending some much needed alone time with your spouse or children.
Emma had to cover for me in so many situations—with the kids, with friends and family, with chores… you name it. I was often worried about her ability to keep sane. Turned out she was similarly worried about me holding it together, given the number of my waking hours I spent doing schoolwork in addition to staying engaged at work. There was no way I could’ve even done half of the program had I not had her full buy-in and support.
Emma: Looking back at the 19 months of the program, the challenge that comes to mind is missing Alf’s presence and involvement with our little family on a daily basis. That left a huge gap in our family, but it was comforting to know that it would be a temporary gap and we’d have Alf back in no time. But I believe the kids and I quickly managed to get used to the idea that he would not be around as much for family parties, events, basketball practices, etc. We set the expectations with the kids early on so they were prepared and had answers to their questions. Alf printed out the 2014 – 2015 EMBA schedule and tacked it on the wall in our den so the kids could see exactly when he would be in block.
What advice would you give to another couple with one partner who is considering an MBA program?
Alf: This will sound very cliché, but communication is key. Communicate your commitments and expectations so there are no surprises. In addition to the coursework, I was also appointed as one of two student Vice Presidents of Admissions. Emma and I discussed this decision at length and what it would mean for both her and I and we both bought into the idea. Another good example of communication was with our crazy personal and professional schedules. Emma and I started calendaring each other, combining our work Outlook with our personal calendars so nothing was left to memory. It’s worked so well that we continued to do this after the program.
Emma: Get to know the other spouses in the program. That was a benefit in that I really felt a sense of involvement in the program. I enjoyed meeting the students in Alf’s class and getting to know them and their families. It was nice to have Haas events open to families/children to attend as it allowed more opportunities to more deeply connect with his classmates and their families.
